OFFERS I'D JOIN THE DARK SIDE FOR

I'm all for doing the right thing but everyone has their breaking point
  1. Free J Crew clothing for life
  2. Marrying Bob Morley
    If he's there it can't be THAT bad
  3. Apples to be in season all year round
    I know you can buy apples out of season but they're expensive and don't taste right
  4. To be free from my dairy issues
    I want to eat ice cream in PEACE
  5. A matte black Range Rover
    I'm basic, okay? Let me live.
  6. For all muffins to be zero calories
  7. A bottomless travel fund
    If I'm going to be evil I might as well see the world
  8. The *perfect* over-sized sweatshirt
    It's out there somewhere
  9. To know JK Rowling