THINGS I'M GREAT AT

  1. Spilling water all over my clothes
  2. Screaming "I hate this song" within the first five seconds of a song
  3. Falling asleep in the car
  4. Losing track of my period
  5. Convincing myself that I forgot to put on deodorant
  6. Fucking up the chip readers on credit card machines
  7. Calling people who did not birth me mom
  8. Forgetting to turn on my lights when driving at night
    Which I'm pretty sure is illegal??
  9. Spelling things so wrong that spellcheck gives up on me
  10. Taking three weeks to put away a single basket of laundry
  11. Convincing myself that peanut butter counts as a meal
  12. Forgetting I'm in the shower and just standing there for 20 minutes
  13. Listing while I should be doing other things
  14. Almost falling down the stairs