THINGS I'VE LEARNED WORKING WITH TODDLERS

Life lessons brought to you by my daily attempt to wrangle a herd of toddlers.
  1. Patience. So much patience.
    Patience is the key to everything.
  2. Messes are going to happen so they might as well be fun
    I strongly believe that everyone should finger paint at least once a week.
  3. Spraying rice/corn with cleaner makes it easier to sweep
  4. It's important to feel the things you feel
    Kids don't just wear their hearts on their sleeves, they tattoo them on their foreheads. If they're sad they cry, if they're mad they yell. They don't hold back and in doing so they move on a lot quicker than most adults do.
  5. Mixing liquid soap with paint prevents stains
  6. Biting hurts a lot
  7. Not everything has to go according to plan
    Things change, embrace it and move forward
  8. Eating more than a handful of shaving cream will result in vomit
  9. Even the smallest things can be exciting
    You haven't seen hype until you've seen twenty toddlers screaming/singing The Wheels on the Bus
  10. Spend at least an hour a day outside
  11. Toys only get boring if you allow your imagination to fail you
    I've used the same twenty blocks to build at least 500 different castles. It's all about what you can think up.
  12. Children do not understand sarcasm
    They think that you're really mad and it makes them sad.
  13. There's a difference between crying and yelling
    Don't let yourself be played. If there's no tears then chances are they're trying to pull one over on you.
  14. It's important to let kids figure things out for themselves
    Sometimes you need to let them argue with each other and find their own solutions.
  15. Poop is just poop
    And snot is just snot and pee is just pee and vomit is just vomit. Wash your hands and get on with your life.
  16. "Later" is the best word in the English language
    When are we going outside? Later. When is mommy coming? Later. Later. Everything is happening later.
  17. Yelling really doesn't get you anywhere
    They might listen for a second but eventually they'll just start up again and you're left looking like a meanie. Divert their attention, they're very easy to distract.
  18. Count to five and then respond
    Kids are frustrating but a lot of the time you're not as mad as you think you are. Take a breathe, count to five, and then react. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble.
  19. Children aren't trying to drive you crazy*
    (*most of the time) They're just trying to figure the world out one day at a time.