THINGS MY MOM HAS SAID DURING THIS CAR RIDE

  1. "Make her talk, I like it when she talks"
    Talking about Siri giving her directions
  2. "Stop it. I hate that."
    My mom about my singing
  3. "Oh look, the deer are out. Dammit. I hate that. I hate them."
    Upon seeing deer on the side of the road
  4. "Seriously look at all these fucking deer. Troublemakers."
    This was 45 minutes after the initial deer sighting
  5. "Just so you know I really don't like the pants you're wearing"
    How my mom breaks a ten minute silence (they're drop crouch pants I got for $5 from H&M)
  6. "The Salem Witch Trials give me anxiety"
  7. "Wow, I almost just swerved off the road and you didn't even notice because you were busy asking me a stupid question."
    I asked her if she could burp on command
  8. "Everyone shut the fuck up I've made the decision that we're getting gas"
    No one was talking
  9. "Deer are the sharks of the roadways"