THINGS TODDLERS HAVE GOTTEN ANGRY AT ME FOR

Teenage angst has nothing on the emotional turmoil toddlers tote around
  1. Not letting them eat their boggers
    "Kenzie it's MINE!" While this is technically true it's still gross.
  2. Making them keep their shirt on
    Weirdly enough we are not allowed to strip at school.
  3. Asking them to use a spoon
    How dare I have to audacity to ask them to not shovel applesauce into their mouths with their entire hand
  4. Washing their hands
    "I clean, I CLEAN." It's like a drug addict you're trying to get into rehab.
  5. Making them stay inside when it's raining
    Might as well have told them they'll never see their family again
  6. Not singing the "Wheels on the Bus"
    Sometimes you're feeling the Itsy Bitsy Spider but the twenty toddlers in the room are feeling The Bus for the 45th time
  7. Throwing away a plastic tiger with no legs and no tail
    We usually try to throw away toys during nap time to avoid the outrage but I wasn't thinking and did it right in the middle of playtime. This one was on me.
  8. Making them nap
    This one isn't surprising. My favorite moment at work was when a little girl looked up at me from her cot, all wrapped in her blanket looking like a crazy Russian grandmother, and called me a bitch. It was amazing.
  9. Not letting them stand on top of a shelf
    They climbed all the way up there and I swept in and plucked them right off. I'm a monster.
  10. Removing the six pieces of mulch from their mouth
    The day hasn't really started until a child is screaming as I try to pry something out of their mouth.
  11. Breaking up a fist fight
    Toddlers are insane and they're violent. They throw punches first and ask questions later. Most of the time I end up getting punched a few dozen times before everything settles down.
  12. Taking their picture
    We're supposed to send the parents at least one picture a day but most of the time the kids aren't having it.
  13. Changing them out of their pee covered shirt into an extra shirt
    I had a little boy cry for twenty minutes once because he didn't want to wear the yellow shirt we had for him to wear. He just kept sobbing and pointing at his peed covered shirt that was in the sink. We finally calmed him down by borrowing a red shirt from another classroom for him to wear.
  14. Not reacting when they hit me
    Nothing frustrates them more than no reaction from a tantrum. They get even madder if you laugh because they're tiny little baby hands aren't doing any damage. Poor kids, they just want to be taken seriously.