WHAT I CAN OFFER YOU IF YOU JOIN MY CULT

  1. A religion based completely on Harry Potter
    We will worship each character as a different God. Hermione will be teach us wisdom, Harry will teach us bravery, Ron: loyalty, Ginny: courage, etc. It will be beautiful and we will feel complete
  2. A devotion to television as an art form
    Television is art in its purest form and as a cult we will respect that. Binge watching is both highly encouraged and completely mandatory.
  3. A lot of mac and cheese
    The food of the gods. It will be our sacred food.
  4. Laser tag tournaments
    For both team building and skill development. A solid laser tag team can accomplish anything, mentally and physically. We will be a unit, a team, a squad, a cult.
  5. Mandatory uniforms
    Casual attire will be: running shorts, a cozy t-shirt, and tennis shoes. Formal attire will be: jeans, a striped shirt (from J Crew), and Converse (of any color). Sweatpants will be allowed at any time.
  6. A healthy respect for the color orange
    You will love orange and you will be very open about your love for orange.
  7. A lot of musical theater
    You will be able to preform The Phantom of the Opera in its entirety. I always get to be the Phantom because it's my cult and I do a great Phantom.
  8. Permission to both love and hate The CW
    Our greatest enemy and our strongest ally. Blessing us with The 100 and Reign while cursing us with The Vampire Diaries. A complicated relationship that is vital to our survival.
  9. Fig newtons
    I'm just going to hand them out because I love them and I want everyone else to too