WHAT TO DO/SAY WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW LOSES SOMEONE THEY LOVE
I have a fair amount of experience with dead family members. Apply these tips when someone croaks and you'll be golden. (This is all based on personal experience you know your friends, do right by them)
- •Try not to say you're sorryI know it's kind of an automatic response and it's fine to say before you have time to really process what happened but after that initial loss for words come up with something different. In my personal experience having someone say "this sucks" meant a lot more than "I'm sorry" because it does in fact suck and it's nice to share that with someone.
- •Just be thereThere's a good chance that the person isn't even really registering what's going on around them let alone what other people are doing. Be there in case they need you but don't be offended if they don't.
- •Let them talkThey may want to talk about the person who died, they may want to explain the entire plot of the last book they read. Talking about stuff helps so let 'em talk.
- •Don't burden them with your griefSomeone dying is sad, it's even sadder if you knew the person but it's going to be the saddest for the people who loved the person. Don't try and add your sadness to their sadness. Don't not grieve but don't try and lay it on the person who lost someone because "they understand"
- •Don't make them filter what they talk about because you're sadTalking about people who died is sad but it's also the only way to remember them. Don't make someone feel bad about sharing memories because it makes you sad.
- •Not everything needs to be acknowledgedSometimes people want to talk about the person they lost without having the constant flow of "they're so proud of you❤️" and "they're looking down on you" comments. It's not that they're not appreciated because they are. It's just that sometimes it's nice to talk about someone without being reminded that they're dead.
- •If you're going to send food make sure it's goodStick to desserts and things will be aces.