THINGS I'D RATHER HAVE THAN SLOW INTERNET

  1. Charlie horses
  2. Chapped lips for eternity
  3. Hangnails on each of my fingers and toes
  4. 12 root canals
  5. Pneumonia
  6. A pet cat
  7. That feeling where you have to sneeze but cant, for the rest of my life
  8. Violent diarrhea