A SELECTION OF GIFTS AT MY FRIEND'S WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE

Every year my friend Carla ("Cla") has a Christmas/birthday party called Clamas. It is huge and features a white elephant where you are encouraged to bring awful things. This year's theme was everyone stole from me and I opened a bunch of the stuff.
  1. Dancing duck in duck-shaped wrapping paper
  2. Penguin plushie with an aquarium inside
    As seen on tv - why does this seem like a good idea?
  3. This record
    I unwrapped this - promptly stolen.
  4. Polenta, unexpired
  5. Large tub of pretzels
  6. Lobster claw oven mitt with partially used One Direction stick on nails (Zayn-specific)
    Carla stole this from me.
  7. Ghostbusters toy
  8. Transformers toy
  9. Table Tennis kit
    Stolen from me.
  10. Star Wars Episode I Sebulba koosh
    I brought this.
  11. Burger press
  12. Year supply of Sephora samples
  13. Dirty, broken pink elephant piggy bank
  14. 3 foot long beard ski mask
  15. Glow stick flashlight
  16. Loch Ness ladle
    Jeff got this! Yay.
  17. $3
  18. One beer
  19. Lindt chocolate orange bar
    Stolen from me.
  20. Sombrero, scarf and cane
  21. Santa Claus/nipple shaped sippy cup
  22. Sparkly Christmas tree hat
  23. Wolf shirt and Edward Cullen pillowcase
  24. Candle lamp with three oddly realistic fake donuts
  25. This shirt
  26. Three multicolored potions, one labeled "margarita? mixes"
    I ended up with these. I interrogated the whole party until I found out that Stan had bought them at a liquor store... a year ago.
  27. One package brandy beans, unclaimed
    Not wrapped, never chosen.