Every year my friend Carla ("Cla") has a Christmas/birthday party called Clamas. It is huge and features a white elephant where you are encouraged to bring awful things. This year's theme was everyone stole from me and I opened a bunch of the stuff.
  1. Dancing duck in duck-shaped wrapping paper
  2. Penguin plushie with an aquarium inside
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    As seen on tv - why does this seem like a good idea?
  3. This record
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    I unwrapped this - promptly stolen.
  4. Polenta, unexpired
  5. Large tub of pretzels
  6. Lobster claw oven mitt with partially used One Direction stick on nails (Zayn-specific)
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    Carla stole this from me.
  7. Ghostbusters toy
  8. Transformers toy
  9. Table Tennis kit
    Stolen from me.
  10. Star Wars Episode I Sebulba koosh
    I brought this.
  11. Burger press
  12. Year supply of Sephora samples
  13. Dirty, broken pink elephant piggy bank
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  14. 3 foot long beard ski mask
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  15. Glow stick flashlight
  16. Loch Ness ladle
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    Jeff got this! Yay.
  17. $3
  18. One beer
  19. Lindt chocolate orange bar
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    Stolen from me.
  20. Sombrero, scarf and cane
  21. Santa Claus/nipple shaped sippy cup
  22. Sparkly Christmas tree hat
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  23. Wolf shirt and Edward Cullen pillowcase
  24. Candle lamp with three oddly realistic fake donuts
  25. This shirt
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  26. Three multicolored potions, one labeled "margarita? mixes"
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    I ended up with these. I interrogated the whole party until I found out that Stan had bought them at a liquor store... a year ago.
  27. One package brandy beans, unclaimed
    Not wrapped, never chosen.