WE PLAYED THROUGH HATOFUL BOYFRIEND ONCE

My husband and I just had to try it.
  1. Hatoful Boyfriend!
    In case you weren't aware, Hatoful Boyfriend is a game where you try to find a bird to date.
  2. Yes, a literal bird!
    You first get to pick your name. We stuck with the recommended "Hiyoko" to keep it on brand.
  3. Welcome to St. Pigeonation's!
    You are the only human in a school full of birds! You can turn on a mode that shows you the human avatar of each bird when you meet them which we OBVIOUSLY did.
  4. First you see your childhood friend Ryouta.
  5. Wow we are in the first term of sophomore year!
    This is such a great bird high school.
  6. This is stuck-up Sakuya.
    I LOVE how they constantly say "anybirdie."
  7. Ladies man Yuuya
  8. Even the creepy doctor is rendered as "anime hot."
  9. Wait... Where's his human form?!?!
  10. Eventually you get to make some decisions!
    We joined the library staff.
  11. You can make fun wishes!
    WTF?
  12. Forget getting a job man!
  13. Wow we made it to our second term!
  14. Did someone get murdered in here?
  15. There's a weird plot line where the doctor is maybe gonna kill us?
  16. Ah yes, the holiday Legumentine's, when you give beans to the boy you like.
    Actually this game is hilarious.
  17. We bought country millet.
    We gave it to the math teacher 😊
  18. Sadly the math teacher cannot love us.
  19. The math teacher said he would wait forever for our character to grow up and then maybe we could be together.
    Probably good cuz otherwise it's creepy?
  20. This game was fucking weird.
    And kind of great? You are a hunter gatherer, you live in a cave, shit is really weird, there's the hint of some mystery subplot that never got explored...
  21. Each choice you make pushes you in the direction of one of the birds to become your boyfriend.
  22. There was never a concrete time that we chose to try to get the math teacher.
    It's pretty unclear how that happened.
  23. It only takes an hour to play through!
  24. We are totally going to do it again!
    Maybe we can be with Ryouta!
  25. Maybe next time I can make for you guys a list of all the birds you can date.