DISTURBING COMPLIMENTS I HAVE RECEIVED FROM MEN

@zoe I didn't realize that this would be so painful and personal and hard to remember.
  1. Hey snowdrop, I like that ass
    While not particularly notable in form, this is a perfect stand-in for the many times I have wished I could go unnoticed on the street. I am disturbed that I feel unsafe being seen in public by strange males. But if I could travel invisibly, I would.
  2. Smile, baby
    I live to please you, stranger.
  3. I'm not much of reader, but I think you're pretty
    I was reading a book when he approached me, and had just mentioned my job was editing books. I was floored by how he so causally dismissed my inner life. It never crossed his mind that my job/interests might be more important in this interaction than his physical urges.
  4. You look younger than 26
    What does that mean?! Do I look 16? Would you like me to?
  5. You look older than 26
    And what does this mean? Why is that a good thing? At what age will I no longer be a sexual object to you? Am I close--at least do I look close to you?
  6. I didn't realize how smart you were until we stopped sleeping together
    This came during an apology from a man I had an affair with. We had drinks months after things ended and he was genuinely surprised that I had interesting things to say. He even sort of offered me a job...
  7. You're beautiful but you seem cold
    As much as I might like to be, I'm neither. And while I understand the need to quantify anxiety especially when meeting someone, on a first date in the wake of break up, this made me curl into a porcupine ball of nerves that I'm still not sure I'm out of. Would anyone ever want to know that woman?
  8. There's "a certain charm" to my desire for respect
    From a man that I liked but wasn't sure about upon trying somewhat ineloquently to say I wasn't comfortable with a booty-text. A polite response (charming even) but dismissive and chillingly indicative of how easy it is lose what little respect you've garnered with sex.
  9. You're the person I respect most in the world, but I don't love you anymore
    Well, that one speaks for itself. The slow and sad ending to four years of minor trauma.
  10. Bonus: disturbing insult!
    A man screamed at me at a bar. He called me a bitch and cunt for telling him that my friend and I didn't want to chat with him and his friend. The bartender and three other men had to forcibly remove him from the place.