DISTURBING COMPLIMENTS I HAVE RECEIVED FROM MEN
@zoe I didn't realize that this would be so painful and personal and hard to remember.
- •Hey snowdrop, I like that assWhile not particularly notable in form, this is a perfect stand-in for the many times I have wished I could go unnoticed on the street. I am disturbed that I feel unsafe being seen in public by strange males. But if I could travel invisibly, I would.
- •Smile, babyI live to please you, stranger.
- •I'm not much of reader, but I think you're prettyI was reading a book when he approached me, and had just mentioned my job was editing books. I was floored by how he so causally dismissed my inner life. It never crossed his mind that my job/interests might be more important in this interaction than his physical urges.
- •You look younger than 26What does that mean?! Do I look 16? Would you like me to?
- •You look older than 26And what does this mean? Why is that a good thing? At what age will I no longer be a sexual object to you? Am I close--at least do I look close to you?
- •I didn't realize how smart you were until we stopped sleeping togetherThis came during an apology from a man I had an affair with. We had drinks months after things ended and he was genuinely surprised that I had interesting things to say. He even sort of offered me a job...
- •You're beautiful but you seem coldAs much as I might like to be, I'm neither. And while I understand the need to quantify anxiety especially when meeting someone, on a first date in the wake of break up, this made me curl into a porcupine ball of nerves that I'm still not sure I'm out of. Would anyone ever want to know that woman?
- •There's "a certain charm" to my desire for respectFrom a man that I liked but wasn't sure about upon trying somewhat ineloquently to say I wasn't comfortable with a booty-text. A polite response (charming even) but dismissive and chillingly indicative of how easy it is lose what little respect you've garnered with sex.
- •You're the person I respect most in the world, but I don't love you anymoreWell, that one speaks for itself. The slow and sad ending to four years of minor trauma.
- •Bonus: disturbing insult!A man screamed at me at a bar. He called me a bitch and cunt for telling him that my friend and I didn't want to chat with him and his friend. The bartender and three other men had to forcibly remove him from the place.