MEDIEVAL TIMES: FEELINGS

  1. GUILT: A few weeks ago I offered to take my friend Mike to dinner for his birthday since I'd missed his party.
  2. UNADULTERATED JOY: He offered to drive us and because I am a GENIUS I suggested we go to the haven of nerds, New Jersey.
  3. BOREDOM / PSYCHOTIC BREAK: We got stuck in midtown traffic for about two hours. We were adrift in a sea of metal and likely to eat each other in desperation ie. we smoked a whole pack of cigarettes and decided to hate each other.
  4. BONE-DEEP EMBARRASSMENT: A bevy of pimply teens tried to sell us neon swords. It worked.
  5. THEN A BEAUTIFUL, WHITE PONY PRANCED THROUGH A SHROUD OF MIST AND MY HEART EXPLODED.
  6. The end.