MY DELUSIONS

In my own little, happy corner
  1. I am a putty person.
    I have an incredibly difficult time believing that there is stuff under my skin. Things that, you know, keep me alive. As a coping mechanism for all those commercials for blood platelet pills and hair follicle cream, I operate under the assumption that I am made of Play Doh (TM) sort of like Gumby, but not green. Delusion Ruiner: I am not flexible.
  2. I'm getting fired.
    Every time there is even a five minute meeting of which I am excluded or simply not appraised of, I am a thousand percent sure I've been found out as an incompetent fraud. Why does anyone listen to me? Will anyone ever find out that I fucked up that David Duchovny foreword? Delusion Ruiner: feminism, apparently a lot of women do this.
  3. Eternal recurrence
    See my other list on this topic. In general, I am comforted by a fatalistic notion that nothing ever changes. Or I've read Schopenhauer's essays one too many times. I absolve myself of much decision-making because I can't stop eating my own tail. Delusion Ruiner: nothing. This is real.
  4. Magic
    City witch (duh). Delusion Ruiner: No trickster Fae have switched me at birth. I turned sixteen and no one gave me my magical powers. Then I got accepted to a college that didn't turn out to be Brakebills. My 21st birthday passed without my being appointed a quest by my father, the King. I work in a cubicle.
  5. I can predict what will happen in horror films.
    I have called almost every twist ending to every horror/mystery/thriller film I have ever seen. I'm practically omniscient (see magic delusions). And I like to watch them and spoil them anyway. I knoooowww I'll be stumped someday or that I've been wrong before, I just don't believe it. Delusion Ruiner: The Sixth Sense.
  6. Nemeses
    It's absolutely impossible to not get fired if you don't have a reliable enemy to measure your ability against and silently blame for any misfortune. A nemesis can get demoted to what I call a 'semi-neme' if they are no longer actively working against you, but they'll always be a hated foe. Delusion Ruiner: she's actually pretty nice to me.
  7. No one will read this.
    Listapp is not going public. I won't have to delete anything, especially this one. It makes me look insane. Delusion Ruiner: @bjnovak @dev