MY ETERNAL RECURRENCES
I am the Ouroboros
- •The LieI tell the same tiny lie about myself to everyone I meet. It doesn't make me cooler, more interesting, pitiable or astonishing. It's not a very important fact. I honestly don't know why I do it.
- •Public CryingNo matter how much I try to keep them in, the tears always come when I'm surrounded by strangers. I often wonder if my emotions are purely performative.
- •...So much reciprocal pain over the last seven years. But you are the most beautiful.
- •PoresA neverending battle. The right mask is my luckdragon.
- •Florentina's Carne Asada BurritoDuring almost every brown/black/grey-out I get one of these. I find this place when I can barely make it home. The people there must think I'm a mess. They might not be wrong.
- •Dave EggersWhen I left Knopf I thought I was rid of him. But then I find myself begging a man at UPS to stay open late while I frantically call his office. He is my one true nemesis.
- •Getting Lost in the SupermarketThere may not be a Minotaur in the produce aisle, but each shopping trip is a labyrinthine quest. I have abandoned a half-filled cart multiple times.
- •The All-nighterShouldn't have listened to Scarlett O'Hara. I'll probably be pulling one before my Friday deadline.
- •Emotional disorientationAcquaintances and strangers often confide in me not realizing that I truly don't care. My lack of empathy was only magnified by years working as a bartender. It takes ages for me to truly begin to feel for my friends. This chasm I feel between myself and others is worrying and unfortunately constant.