Google Maps Directions As Motivational Quotes

  1. "You are on the fastest route, despite usual traffic."
    You're killing it, even though everyone else has no idea what they're doing.
  2. "Take a left on Main Street."
    It's definitely a bad idea to become a professional clown. You went to law school. You made the right choice.
  3. "Sharp right ahead."
    Don't choose that fuccboi over that partner promotion.
  4. "In 500 feet, make a u-turn."
    Listen: you've got about 10 seconds to turn your life around and accept this god damn promotion.
  5. "Recalculating."
    Well, that was a mistake. John Henry was not a good choice.
  6. "We found a quicker route, that saves you five minutes."
    By cutting corners at work, you're cutting corners in your personal life. You might've finished reviewing that contract in a more efficient manner, but you let John Henry get away with being passive aggressive over text message to complete it.
  7. "Your destination is on the right."
    This is your fault. You picked a fuccboi over partner. By the time this opportunity comes up again, John Henry will have dumped you, screwed over another girl, and will probably enroll in law school, so he can meet another girl. At least you're at SoulCycle early.