Unfortunately, I am out of the country for @graham's graduation, so this is my graduation toast.💕
  1. Graham: From the moment you were born, you were the cute child, despite your deviant tendencies.
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    He was def already being a bully to me.
  2. You would punch me, kick me, yell at me, and pretend that I did it.
  3. BUT I WAS THE GOOD BIG SISTER AND PUT UP WITH IT.
  4. You were allowed to play video games for hours on end, for reasons I still don't quite understand.
  5. But we still could bond over SportsCenter and NERF football like the COOL SIBLINGS THAT WE ARE.
  6. You tried to embarrass me constantly, but I think I embarrassed you more when I told you that I hooked up with boys.
  7. Then again, you might've topped that when you confided in me about your "adventures" in the back of my car, to put it nicely.
  8. But now you're all grown up and going off to college (Class of 2019 wtf!!!), and you won't be able to torment me anymore.
  9. I can't wait to embarrass you at parent's weekend, which I will crash by the way.
  10. I will buy you cheap drinks, just don't tell mom.
  11. You don't have to pick a major now, but if you do actually become a pediatrician that would be hilarious.
  12. You will probably be the tallest non-athlete in your class and that's okay.
  13. Participate in clubs, act in school productions, become a doctor AND GO FORTH AND CONQUER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.
  14. But, seriously, graduate in four years, because mom will be mad if you don't. ❤️
  15. Remember: I'm always an ear-shot away.
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    Get it?!