How to Make Your Baby Go Viral

  1. 1.
    Have a kid
  2. 2.
    Film them all the time in hopes that maybe one of those crawls will be good content.
  3. 3.
    Get that viral content.
  4. 4.
    Try and upload it to YouTube.
  5. 5.
    Can't figure it out.
  6. 6.
    Google it.
  7. 7.
    Read a forum or two.
  8. 8.
    Stumble upon Mac Rumors.
  9. 9.
    Three weeks pass.
  10. 10.
    Finally re-upload video to YouTube.
  11. 11.
    Can't figure out how to share on Facebook.
  12. 12.
    Wife figures it out.
  13. 13.
    Your mom, retired school teacher, shares it on her Teachers Of The Southeast Facebook page.
  14. 14.
    73 percent of teachers share it.
  15. 15.
    Channel 2 Action News picks it up.
  16. 16.
    Fox 5 comes in second.
  17. 17.
    Local CBS affiliate is last.
  18. 18.
    You do the local news rounds.
  19. 19.
    Your baby hates it.
  20. 20.
    Matt Lauer calls.
  21. 21.
    You accept, but he wants to shoot during your family reunion.
  22. 22.
    But you say yes anyways.
  23. 23.
    Your wife isn't happy.
  24. 24.
    She's drinking again.
  25. 25.
    Fly to New York.
  26. 26.
    Baby somehow sleeps the whole flight.
  27. 27.
    Wife also passed out, due to the strength of the gin & tonics at the Ruby Tuesday's in the airport.
  28. 28.
    Make it to New York and your Hilton Garden Inn.
  29. 29.
    Call time is 4am.
  30. 30.
    Nite nite.
  31. 31.
    Android alarm goes off at 3.
  32. 32.
    Somehow manage to get out the door in under thirty minutes.
  33. 33.
    Wife needs Advil.
  34. 34.
    Make it to 30 Rock.
  35. 35.
    Greeted by Page.
  36. 36.
    She has no idea what she's doing, but shows you to your dressing room.
  37. 37.
    An EP comes in 15 minutes later and runs through the interview.
  38. 38.
    You're supposed to talk about the video for two minutes, one minute on how you two met, 30 second shot of the baby, 45 seconds on what your next plans are.
  39. 39.
    The makeup artist comes in and throws some powder on your face. Your wife's, too.
  40. 40.
    You change the baby into a yellow onesie.
  41. 41.
    EP comes back and says five minutes till air.
  42. 42.
    You head to the set.
  43. 43.
    Matt Lauer is putting eye drops in his eyes.
  44. 44.
    He stops to shake your hand. Not your wife's. He also ignores the baby.
  45. 45.
    EP shows you your places on the white couch.
  46. 46.
    You're mics are shoved on your shirts by the Page.
  47. 47.
    She still doesn't know what she's doing.
  48. 48.
    Showtime.
  49. 49.
    Matt Lauer asks you about the video.
  50. 50.
    And how you two met.
  51. 51.
    They zoom in on the baby.
  52. 52.
    She's asleep and drooling.
  53. 53.
    How cute.
  54. 54.
    He asks what's next and you think a divorce, but say a reality show.
  55. 55.
    Your wife smiles and puts her hand on your leg.
  56. 56.
    Matt gives you a gift-card to Toys R Us. You act suprised.
  57. 57.
    Cut to commercials.
  58. 58.
    Baby starts crying.
  59. 59.
    Wife vomits in a trash can next to the cameraman.
  60. 60.
    You apologize and get a text from your lawyer about finalizing the TLC deal.