Ice Cubes, Ranked

This is important.
  1. 1.
    Tubular Nugget
    I've only spotted this ice at a few southern gas stations, including many Golden Pantry locations. If you're looking for a slightly soft crunch in your half-Coke, half-Cheerwine concoction, this is for you.
  2. 2.
    Crushed Ice
    Miss those summer slushies? The sensation of shaved-ice dying your tongue blue? Well, you're a crushed ice bb.
  3. 3.
    Regular Cube
    This is some unrealistic ice, which is usually only found in commercials for some new soda.
  4. 4.
    Gourmet
    UGH. If I'm spending $5 on a fancy ice latte, I don't need some $5 ice in there. It takes up too much space and does not give me the caffeine fix that I need. This ice is only appropriate if you're fixing your self a scotch and work part-time at Urban Outfitters.
  5. 5.
    Half Cube
    The most basic, therefore the lamest. Usually served with your unlimited soda at a b-level restaurant. Often comes in a plastic "Coca-Cola" glass, even when you just ordered water.