1. "If someone lives in Oxford and is stupid, are they an Oxymoron?"
  2. "I couldn't even masturbate to it, because it was just so historically inaccurate."
  3. "Journal references are like trousers: You don't pay much attention to them when they're there and hardly anyone looks at them, but go without them and suddenly everyone's on your case."
  4. "Don't come to one of the oldest educational establishments in the world if you want to sit exams in a hoodie."
  5. "I don't see why I can't support both socialism and the divine right of kings!"
  6. "My two biggest worries are scurvy and gout."