A Guide
  1. Text someone you like, but also kind of hate, and make sure read receipts are turned off.
  2. "Hey, what are you up to later?"
  3. They will get excited and text their friends about you texting them.
  4. Even though they kind of like-hate you, too.
    You have history and they are willing to let bygones be bygones.
  5. They respond: "Nothing much. You?"
  6. Turn on read receipts
  7. Read it.
  8. Wait 20 minutes to respond.
  9. "Same. I really need to tell you something."
  10. Send it.
  11. They will open it immediately and are utterly confused.
  12. They text their friends, brainstorming about what you have to tell them.
    Herpes? A love child? A kid from another relationship that you haven't told them about? A warrant out for their arrest?
  13. "What's going on?"
  14. Read it.
  15. Start typing back.
  16. Never hit send.