U.S. Presidents: An Analysis Of Their Romantic Capabilities

  1. George W. Bush
    Has no idea what he's doing. Not a selfish lover, he just literally has no idea what he's doing. Deletes his PornHub search history.
  2. Richard Nixon
    Sleeps with multiple women, thinks he's hot stuff, and never wants to cuddle.
  3. Dwight D. Eisenhower
    Surprisingly good, but no one knows that by looking at him, so he never gets a chance to prove people wrong.
  4. Warren G. Harding
    Did a lot of research in the libraries on sex. Is very clinical when it comes to The Deed, but has good pillow talk.
  5. Jimmy Carter
    Is afraid to go all the way. When he does, he makes the wrong choice. Does not know how to get out of a relationship conflict.
  6. William Howard Taft
    Tries to flirt with really hot women and thinks that he can get away with it because he's the president. Very selfish in bed. It's better if the girl is on top.
  7. Chester A. Arthur
    Girls keep telling him to get rid of the mustache when they're making out. He laughs it off and tries to do weird things that the girls aren't in to. Has a lot of one night stands.
  8. Abraham Lincoln
    Loves to hook up with really short girls. Thinks that because he is tall he can get away with being terrible in bed.
  9. John F. Kennedy
    A pretty good lover. Reads too many women's magazines to see "what women like." Recommends that his lovers get tested for STD's often.
  10. Barack Obama
    A tender lover. Not too sappy and not too boring. Any man that dates/marries/sleeps with a tall women tends to know what he's doing.
  11. Joe Biden
    Not a president, but the president in the bedroom. A rare bread, considering that he's tall. Into sort of weird stuff, but Jill is totally down.