What To Serve A Trump Voter
- •Crescent RollsAn excellent starter for a racist. Get them cozy and comfortable. Who knows, maybe all that white, processed gluten will put them in a decent mood? Like a Romney vibe, even!
- •Frozen Cheese PizzaI know the marinara might be "too cultural," but remind them that its descendants are Italian. Maybe name drop the Sopranos. Or the Real Housewives of New Jersey. They will understand.
- •Fettuccini AlfredoMake sure the sauce is really white and creamy. You don't want to offend them with any garnishes of color. No cilantro. No basil. God forbid you put black pepper in the dish.
- •Seven Layer SaladSeven layers of underlying racist, misogynistic, and homophobic beliefs! What more could you ask for? Garnish with an extra layer of super white mayonnaise.
- •Green Bean CasseroleWith green beans out of the can. Because, if they're lazy enough to not fact check the news that they're posting on Facebook before they post it on Facebook, you can be lazy, too! They'll be into it!
- •Marie Calendar's Apple PieSweeten the mood with a slice of freshly frozen apple pie. It's a dessert that screams "Hey, I love saving room for dessert, but not for immigrants who want to move into my neighborhood and steal my jobs!"
- •Serve meal on white paper plates and plastic utensils.When you're serving a Trump supporter, you don't want to dig too deep into the issues at hand just like you don't want to dig too deep into that seven layer salad. Save your Williams Sonoma flat wear and dishes for the liberals.