WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY

I never once wanted a normal job
  1. An actor
    I was painfully shy but wanted the attention that Mary Kate and Ashley got. This is probably still true.
  2. A rockstar
    This is probably because Avril. Cue getting an acoustic guitar, learning one song, and never touching it again like every other suburban youth. Parents stop being 11 year old's guitars.
  3. Something at NASA
    I didn't know shit about science just kinda thought space was cool. Thought maybe I'd find out the secrets about time traveling
  4. A writer
    I wanted to write angsty YA novels. Cue getting a blog.
  5. A music reviewer
    Cue starting to act pretentious because I knew shitty bands no one had heard of
  6. Nothing
    By the age of 18 I lost all ambition. Now I'd like to get paid to make lists on the Internet