things i've said to boys who wanted to date me

  1. "i really hate spongebob memes"
    did not go over well
  2. "u ever think that the reason you think history is easy is because your teacher is the football coach and we have the no-pass-no-play rule?"
    he was on the jv team our junior year of high school and tried to convince me that football players just understood history better for some reason. idiot.
  3. "sorry i have a boyfriend and he treats me really well"
    a guy stopped me on the street and asked to call my boyfriend to make sure he knows how lucky he is. i dont have a boyfriend.
  4. "i'd do anything for harry styles"
    honesty is the best policy
  5. "never drunk text me again"
    he called me a "qtp2t"
  6. BONUS: "that was the nicest thing anyones ever done for me"
    a boy who Did Not want to date me handed me a pencil i dropped after an ap calc test. i was delirious. it was a joke. he stopped sitting near me.