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  1. 1.
    Matt Damon & Luciana Barroso
    Low-key and privately adorable couple
  2. 2.
    Emily Blunt & John Krasinski
    Talented, funny and speak so highly of each other
  3. 3.
    Ellen Degeneres & Portia de Rossi
    Awesome and hilarious in their own ways
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Thank you @lenadunham for, as usual, being the shit and absolutely owning what it feels like being a women. If you haven't read this, do. As a women you feel understood, as a guy you might learn a little something.
  1. "I am hideous. I am going to be living in a mental hospital by the time I am twenty nine. I will never amount to anything. You wouldn't know if to see me at a party."
    I couldn't have put this better myself. If I had a nickel for every time I had this thought nearly verbatim..
  2. "...but when I revealed my virgin status, he became (perhaps rightfully) afraid I would form an unbreakable one-way bond with him and fled."
    Yup. Happened.
  3. "When someone shows you how little you mean to them and you keep coming back for more, before you know it you start to mean less to yourself."
    Truth. This sucks to learn the hard way, so don't.
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I would wish this list upon my enemy, no one else.
  1. Water cleanse
    Done before a juice cleanse (see below). For 2 days eat nothing and drink nothing other than >1 gallon a day of alkaline water. Was recommended by the health company I worked for... Needless to say I no longer work there.
  2. 5+ day juice cleanse
    I actually like doing juice cleanses on occasion to "reset" for a few days after eating unhealthy to get back in the groove, but I do not recommend doing this for more than a few days. TIP: do NOT watch Tasty videos or the Food Network during this time period.
  3. Going "vegan"
    Some things do taste better than skinny feels. Like meat. And gluten. And chocolate. And bread. And any potato-based product.
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  1. 1.
    Jimmy Johns dick pic
    Legit the directions to the closest jimmy johns to my office. Thank you round-abouts.
  2. 2.
    My adorable dog and Netflix companion...
    nothing better than puppy love + red wine + Netflix (maybe add in some chocolate and cancelled plans)
  3. 3.
    A Mara Hoffman Pinterest screenshot
    Really want this swimsuit but can't get myself to spend that much money on one
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