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I hate OKcupid but I always get on it.
  1. Kuntryboi4lyfe
    This guy has a default of a truck, is looking for is "southern princess" loves Jesus way too much, and probably smokes a lot of weed. Extra points if he has a confederate flag on his profile or mentions that he likes girls who like mud.
  2. Superwholockwars_pizza
    This guy is trying really hard to not be "your average joe." And he's doing that by being in every fandom possible. Male equivalent of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Usually has a beard and is probably straight edge, but only because he still lives with his parents. Absolutely will accuse you of being a fake geek girl when you don't know obscure trivia. Probably went to that Dr. Who thing in Whales and is very proud of it.
  3. I_love_fedoras_and_anime
    This guy is your typical Internet neckbeard. He will probably message you without bothering to read your age range, then go on a long rant about how girls these days never want nice guys after you tell him he's too old for you. All of his pictures are anime he's drawn except one blurry webcam shot from 2002. He will call you a bitch and attack you for everything you are, then get mad when you retaliate.
OH MAN YOU GUYS ARE IN FOR A TREAT CAUSE I FUCKING LOVE TOAST thanks @taylorjeannesea for requesting this list. These are all the toast recipes I love that I can think of off the top of my head.
  1. Classic toast
    Butter and jelly. Classic and delicious, perfect for your breakfast or boozy brunch needs.
  2. Avotoast
    Take your toast. Add avocado, salt, and pepper. BAM YOU GOT A MOTHERFUCKING AMAZING ASS TOAST MEAL WITH ALL KINDA PROTEIN AND NUTRIENTS AND SHIT OMG. If you wanna jazz it up more add more Mexican shit and you got yourself a toast fiesta my friend.
  3. CAPRISTOAST
    (Capitalized because it's my favorite) toast base, layer on that mozzarella, top with tomato, garnish with arugula, salt and pepper and then HOLY FUCK ITS LIKE THE BAREFOOT CONTESSA @InaGarten HERSELF MADE THIS TOASTY MASTERPIECE.
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  1. 1.
    Guy Fieri
    My friends and I have a group text that I named "Guy Fieri's #1 Thotties" so I felt obliged to supply the quality Guy content to go with the name.
  2. 2.
    Mildred B. Cubicle
    This is our resident skeleton, Mildred B. Cubicle. I don't know why he has such a serious name, my little sister chose it. Here he is sporting a lovely bow.
  3. 3.
    A meme I made
    I made this super shitty meme when SC was swimming a few weeks back. Please enjoy my floating rednecks and use of meme generator. This got 8 shares on Facebook so I was basically famous.
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  1. Sneaks me hits of the bong so my uncle doesn't see
  2. Opens my beers so I don't break off what's left of my acrylics
  3. Buys me bojangles
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  1. When my mom is like "I have to clean the house" that I just cleaned.
    WAS MY CLEANING NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?
  2. When I have to go to town
    Why must I make this 3 minute drive
  3. When my cigarette lights weird
    Great, now it's going to burn uneven and I'm probably going to end up flicking the cherry off because of this uneven bullshit.
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In no particular order.
  1. LEAF FALL DOWN
  2. They play that song by Earth, Wind, and Fire a lot more
    You know the one I'm talking about
  3. Pumpkin spice
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  1. Crying
  2. Eating
  3. Hyperventilating
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  1. Skyrim
    Purely because the glitches make me laugh for hours.
I started smoking when I was 15. It's been a weird road.
  1. 15
    I smoked my first cigarette, a Newport, with my friend Landon because I was stressed out about an honors algebra I math test we were about to take. I did the typical coughing up a lung thing, but after that, it became our morning ritual. I would get the bojangles, we would park by the football field, eat, and share a cigarette before going to class.
  2. 16
    I started buying my own cigarettes after I got my first job. There was an old gas station outside of town where they didn't card, once again, Landon taught me his ways on this one. I started smoking Misty Menthol 120s because I thought they were elegant and they weren't as harsh as Landon's Newports.
  3. 17
    I got a boyfriend right after my 17th birthday who smoked Marlboro Menthols, so I started smoking those too. I didn't like them as much as my Misty's, but I couldn't complain because he was buying them.
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I got this app because @dylan posted about it on Facebook and now I'm confused but intrigued, and this somehow seems more productive than watching endless Property Brothers reruns, which is what I was previously doing.
  1. I have no idea what I'm doing.
    No, really. I did a year of college for Political Science, then I couldn't afford it anymore, then I got my CNA, and now I'm trying to start a small business as a baker.
  2. I'm southern.
    I was born in SC and I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. I love southern culture and how hospitable the people here are. I have a tattoo on my back that's the potential beginning of a "southern traditions" piece. The best part is that all the old southerners are dying out and making way for us new age southern babies to bring SC into the 21st century, and I get to be a part of my state changing for the better.
  3. I'm a Democrat.
    I love Hillary Clinton. She's my spirit animal.
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