LEAVING COLLEGE FOR THE SUMMER

  1. Tell acquaintances you'll definitely see them before you leave
  2. Abandon $14 Target lamp in the dorm common room
  3. Deflect questions about lack of internship
    "Oh, you're going...home? That's nice..."
  4. Leave command hooks adhered to dorm walls
    Fuck you, higher education!
  5. Plug in "moving boxes" as exercise in myfitnesspal
  6. Leave without telling anyone
    apologize to acquaintances later, via text