LEAVING COLLEGE FOR THE SUMMER
- •Tell acquaintances you'll definitely see them before you leave
- •Abandon $14 Target lamp in the dorm common room
- •Deflect questions about lack of internship"Oh, you're going...home? That's nice..."
- •Leave command hooks adhered to dorm wallsFuck you, higher education!
- •Plug in "moving boxes" as exercise in myfitnesspal
- •Leave without telling anyoneapologize to acquaintances later, via text