REAL THINGS YOU HEAR AT A NEW ENGLAND PREP SCHOOL GRADUATION

My life is a cliche
  1. "My son is playing football, hockey, and lacrosse here next year!"
  2. "I saw the Entourage Movie on opening night. Best movie of the year by far."
  3. "I was dating this guy who had a photo of the stock exchange as his lock screen"
  4. "Bro, I haven't seen you since we crashed the five-year reunion booze cruise!"
  5. "You're studying film? Like film...business?"