THINGS I'VE MISUNDERSTOOD FOR AN EMBARRASSINGLY LONG TIME

  1. decaf doesn't mean less caffeine, it means no caffeine
    didn't learn this until last month. in my mind decaf meant half caf? idk
  2. ankle and heel do not refer to the same body part
    not sure how this confusion occurred, but i sorted it out before second grade. still get them mixed up though
  3. "pharmacy" isn't pronounced "fuh-mare-uh-see"
    thankfully this ended when i was five
  4. approximately doesn't mean precisely, it's literally the opposite of precisely
    didn't realize this until sophomore year in hs. probably why i was crap at math for so long
  5. left and right in general
    the only time i can get them consistently correct is when i'm driving (a pretty good time to get them right tbh)
  6. how to smile
    it wasn't until i was six that i could properly smile. before that i was showing my teeth with the corners of my mouth going straight, not up (basically britney spears' smile)
  7. the concept of accents
    i always thought my accent (general american) was the "plain" version, and all other accents derived from mine. this has translated into me not thinking i have any type of accent.
  8. west virginia is a real place
    in my freshmen history class in high school we were given blank maps of the US to fill in. i was convinced it was virginia and north virgina