Questions to Ask Yourself When Your Pet Is Being a Jerk All the Time

Sometimes pets have serious problems. Sometimes they act like jerks. Sometimes people don't think about why that might be and instead get a professional with a TV crew to come to their house...
  1. Am I being a jerk?
    Nothing personal. You just probably didn't consider that you might be the problem, it's always good to just check yourself now and then. I'm sure you're fine.
  2. Is he/she desexed?
    Hormones make EVERYONE act like jerks. (Even you) Territorial marking, dominance, aggression, trying to BREED WITH THINGS AND CREATE LIFE - are all symptoms of leaving animals unsterilised.
  3. Do I take time for play/exercise with him/her regularly?
    Lack of stimulation and fun times will make them jerks. Make them think! make them move! make them tired! make them happy! If you don't - sorry, you're the jerk bro.
  4. Did I forgot that my pet is a _____and not a human baby?
    Animals get pretty confused when their instincts tell them that they are biologically one thing, and then we put them in onesies and ask them about their feelings...Try to show your pets love while letting them stay animals and using their natural instincts - or the other animals will make fun of them... don't be a jerk and subject them to that crap.
  5. Do I pick him/her up a lot?
    Kind of like the last point except more annoying. The only one who thinks this is great is you. Put them down, they prefer using their own legs. Dogs, for instance, who are held up high all the time start to think they are really awesome and important and turn into jerks. (You might have heard of little dog syndrome - yeah it's our fault, cos we're a bunch of JERKS)
  6. Was he/she always a jerk?
    Sometimes when we fall in love we are so blinded by the cute that we don't notice that some of the behaviour is jerk-like (not isolated to animals). You might have unknowingly encouraged your pet to be jerk because of the cute.. But now you're over the honeymoon phase and the jerk is much more apparent, so again, are you sure you're not the jerk that created this jerk?
  7. What situations make him/her act like a jerk?
    Did some jerk just come visit your house? Did you just punch your pet in the face? Was there a loud noise? Has your pet been alone all day? PAY ATTENTION to things that happen that might trigger your pet doing jerk things, and then try and avoid those things, or find away to make them easier for your pet. (Don't EVER punch your pet in the face) ie. Don't be a jerk.
  8. How do you deal with him/her being a jerk?
    There's a time and place for CORRECTING behaviour. But If you're PUNISHING your pet, you're not solving anything, you're actually creating more problems. So just stop doing that. If you're angry; Stop. If you're upset; Stop. It's not fair. You're being a jerk.
  9. Is it actually a bigger problem?
    Maybe he/she isn't being a jerk...maybe he/she has something bigger going on they are trying to tell you about. THIS is when you should maybe get in touch with a professional for advice and help. Whatever you do; Please don't give up on them or send them away. Even if they're acting like a jerk, they love you and need you. If you abandon your pet, then you are definitely the jerk in this story.