WAYS I IMPRESSED MY DATE LAST NIGHT

I am very bad at this
  1. Made a pun out of salt and assault
    In front of his friend.
  2. Got food on my face
    That he pointed out.
  3. Inadvertently steered the conversation to blowjobs
    We were eating these tortellini filled with broth that exploded in your mouth. Girls/guys, you understand. And then I awkwardly fumbled my way out of this topic. Like, really awkwardly.
  4. Asked to pause the conversation so I could make a writing-related note
    Not about blowjobs.
  5. Tried to call his brother out for not participating in a family cycling thing
    Brother isn't participating because of a medical condition.
  6. Spilled half a glass of wine
    Then talked about how I'm so clumsy I walk into my own furniture and oh also I bruise easily!
  7. Got my bracelet caught on my shirt
    More than once.
  8. Marveled at the traffic at 12:30 am
    But it's so late! Where are all these people going? To bed, I hope.
  9. Pointed south when talking about the beach
  10. Somehow he either found this charming or is taking pity on me
    Because we're doing it again on Sunday.