WAYS I IMPRESSED MY DATE LAST NIGHT
I am very bad at this
- •Made a pun out of salt and assaultIn front of his friend.
- •Got food on my faceThat he pointed out.
- •Inadvertently steered the conversation to blowjobsWe were eating these tortellini filled with broth that exploded in your mouth. Girls/guys, you understand. And then I awkwardly fumbled my way out of this topic. Like, really awkwardly.
- •Asked to pause the conversation so I could make a writing-related noteNot about blowjobs.
- •Tried to call his brother out for not participating in a family cycling thingBrother isn't participating because of a medical condition.
- •Spilled half a glass of wineThen talked about how I'm so clumsy I walk into my own furniture and oh also I bruise easily!
- •Got my bracelet caught on my shirtMore than once.
- •Marveled at the traffic at 12:30 amBut it's so late! Where are all these people going? To bed, I hope.
- •Pointed south when talking about the beach
- •Somehow he either found this charming or is taking pity on meBecause we're doing it again on Sunday.