Inspired by @MelissaStetten
  1. Has a 2-year-old and is "investing in restaurants with a partner"
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    I have no idea what he does but he posts pics on insta from polo matches in the Hamptons. Also, he texted to say he wished he would have married me when I was 25 while his partner was pregnant. I sent him that "should have put a ring on it" still from Single Ladies.
  2. Submitting his indie film to small festivals
    Reviews from Wordpress sites suggest it's not that great. My not-best-self is pleased because he yelled at me for bizarre things.
  3. Working in nightlife in NYC and actively involved in Hillsong church
    He didn't tell me Jesus Christ was his personal savior until we started talking about marriage and only as he was breaking up with me because I was an atheist. Which he knew from day one.
  4. Directed a box office hit
  5. Works for the James Bond brand on their video games in some capacity
    He's very vague about what he does. A lot of meetings. He also won't talk to me while I'm dating someone and tried to kiss me a few months ago. What's with these clowns that they don't like me when they have me? *single.ladies.jpg*
  6. Supported by his parents, married to girl who he got pregnant after saying he never wanted kids
    Age 39. Supported by parents.
  7. Musician currently recording a solo album at Abbey Road in London
  8. Furniture designer/architect
    ListApp, you know him as the Hinge guy. Pour one out.