If you're like me, there's nothing worse than random strangers holding you hostage with small talk while you are forced to give up personal space for a moment, trapped as you both are in a small metal box. I deal by fantasizing about the perfect response to shut that shit down, taking inspiration from Hollywood.
  1. "Do I look like a fucking bellboy to you?"
    Responding to: "Can you press 4 for me please?"
  2. "The fuck are you to tell me what kind of goddamn morning it is? "
    Response to: "Good Morning!"
  3. "What are you a fucking weatherman now?"
    Response to: "Beautiful weather we're having!"
  4. 🎶"The weather outside is weather."🎶
    Alternate response to: "Beautiful weather we're having!"
  5. No! I'm not Buddha so Don't touch my belly!
    I'm not pregnant nor have I ever been but being in an elevator AND having someone touch my preggars belly seems like an anxiety nightmare!
    Suggested by @kate81