BEN AND JERRY'S JIHAD AGAINST SELF-CONTROL

  1. I've got to stop eating pistachio ice cream right before bed
  2. I can easily destroy a pint before I've realized what happened
  3. The problem is that it reaches peak tastiness after it has melted a little bit
  4. So the longer I eat it, the better it gets
  5. Making each bite more delicious than the last
  6. I think B & J know this
  7. It's all part of their secret plan to slowly melt away our willpower until we are all too fat to do anything
  8. And then the harvest will begin
  9. What puzzles me is why the cannoli flavor is not available all the time.
  10. That would accomplish their goal so much faster