The sexual encounter these ladies need is obviuosly with a flabby, balding, married father of two with terrible skin, ungracefully approaching middle age.
  1. Joan Holloway (Mad Men)
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    It drives me into a frenzy to know that Christina Hendricks was a goth chick growing up in the metro DC area.
  2. Crush (American Gladiators circa 2008)
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    This chick would wreck me
  3. Liz Lemon (30 Rock)
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    I really dislike the 'no-sex-on-a-school-night' policy, but IT'S LIZ FUcKING LEMON, you guys!
  4. Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Project)
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    (Also Kelly Kapour from The Office)
  5. Jerri Blank (Strangers with Candy)
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    Or Amy Sedaris in anything
  6. Amy Schumer (Inside Amy Schumer)
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    Could totally get it
  7. Maude Lebowski (The Big Lebowski)
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    A natural, zesty enterprise.
  8. Lana Kane (Archer)
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    Or any character played by Aisha Tyler
  9. Sarah Silverman (The Sarah Silverman Program)
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  10. Lois Griffin (Family Guy)
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  11. Lt. Uhura (Star Trek reboot)
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    I'm such a nerd.
  12. Mayor Goodway from Paw Patrol
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    You'll need me after your inevitable indictment for incompetent misuse of Adventure Bay City funds.
  13. Ava Alexander (Up All Night)
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  14. Amy Lee (from Evanescence)
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    Technically not fictional. But I have a weakness for goth chicks.
  15. Skylar (Good Will Hunting)
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    Can't believe Matt Damon ghosted her after Good Will Hunting