1. Fuck: Jessa
    Let's get this one out of the way: you definitely couldn't marry her, because she is the 'grab a cop's gun' kind of insanity that Liz Lemon warned us about. For the same reason you can't kill her- to mutilate some James Brown lyrics: 🎶she don't know karate, but she does know KA-RAZY.🎶
  2. Marry: Hannah
    But, like ten years from now, once she develops a conscience and grows out of the solipsistic fantasy she lives in.
  3. Kill: Marnie
    My hat's off to Lena Dunham for writing a character that consistently forces me to cycle between pity and disgust. Future mathematicians will marvel at the perfect sine wave created by her character arc in every episode.