PARENTING 'WINS'

A couple pro tips I've gathered in the past four years. Feel free to add your own!
  1. I call this one "The Hostage:"
    Example: "Let me hold your dinosaurs while you buckle your car seat." Becomes "You can have your dinosaurs once you are buckled in." WINNN!!!!!
  2. The "Lord Humongous 'Just walk away'"
    Figured this out when it was time to leave the Pediatrician's office and my then 3-yr old refused to stop his exploration of every inch of the waiting room. So I just told him I was leaving and walked the fuck away. FUCKING WINNNNNNN!
  3. The "Sisyphus Jr."
    "The trick," said the random parent I met at a playground, "is to wear them out without wearing yourself out." Ex: "Hey Cole. Why don't you chase yourself?" Or "I'll spin you around again after you run from here to the fence 10 more times." MUTHAFUCKIN WIN!!!!
  4. "Have you ever heard of a marathon? It's when you run around the house 26 times. Only the best athletes can do it!"
    To add to the Sisyphus Jr.
    Suggested by   @e