THE TIME I ALMOST GOT PICKED UP BY A DUDE

  1. Many years ago my then-girlfriend and I accompanied a group of our friends to the Pride Parade in Pittsburg
  2. The route of the parade went through what is known as "The Fruit Loop"
    A cul-de-sac in Schenley Park known in the gay dude community as a place to go for 'Casual Encounters.' Note that this incident predates the existence of craigslist. Idk if the fruit loop is still known for this today.
  3. I was separated from my friends.
    Not sure how.
  4. This guy comes up to me and starts shooting the shit
    Real friendly, casual. Probably a chill dude.
  5. I make awkward small talk for a good 10 mins.
    Editors note: I am terrible at small talk. Super awkward around strangers of any gender/orientation. Can't stress that enough.
  6. As a result, this guy is doing all of the conversational heavy lifting.
    He has also been subtly moving into/ straight up invading my space bubble this whole time.
  7. I suspect that he interpreted my awkward weirdness for an intense desire to bone? IDK. At some point he's face to face with me and puts an arm on my shoulder in an effort to walk me towards the woods.
    Weird, right? "Maybe it's normal for someone to do that if they just met you" -younger me, probably.
  8. One of my gay friends sees what's happening, inserts himself between the two of us and says something along the lines of "oh, there you are! C'mon [girlfriend's name is looking for you!]" and whisks me away.
  9. When I get back to my group I am completely oblivious to what was happening
    At no point thus far had it crossed my mind that the dude was tryin to 'get up on it,' as the kids say nowadays. I was naive, also in case I haven't mentioned it, super fucking awkward. I just thought I made a new friend.
  10. My friends had to spell it out for me.
    I'm sure there are conceited dudes out there who think everyone wants to bang them. They would have figured this out right away. It took some convincing before I realized what was going in there.