Times my wife would have been 100% justified in divorcing me
- •1. Crowded movie theatre. The trailer for the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie has just finished.
- •I look over at her, in (much) louder than conversational tone say:
- •"I bet it's rated ARRRRRRRR!!!!!"
- •2. I start walking faster than her in a crowded mall.
- •As she just barely catches up, I stare at her as if I have never seen her before and yell:
- •"Why do you keep following me?"
- •3. At BJ's for the first time. We walk up to the service desk.
- •I look the woman working the counter straight in the eye and say:
- •"Can I have a BJ [extremely awkward pause] smembership please?"*NOTE: I only threatened to do this.