We downloaded this picture dictionary app for my son. Each entry has a picture, a sentence using the word, and a woman's voice reading the sentence. Pretty straight-forward, right? Except every other word reveals the truly fucked up worldview of the developer. I can't stress this enough: nowhere in the description was it described as religious.
  1. Innocent enough, I guess. If this was the only religious mention in the app I wouldn't think twice
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  2. Kids play with water guns. No big deal. But who the fuck thinks 'gun' is such a crucial part of a 3-year old's vocabulary that they need to explicitly teach it with words and pictures?
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  3. Christmas is pretty harmless, but any non-Christian kid is going to wonder what she's missing out on at this point.
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  4. Um. Ok, I guess it's good to teach kids about feelings...
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  5. Wait a minute....
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  6. Fuck. Me. Thanks a lot for introducing that conversation into my agnostic family. Who wrote this app? Fred Phelps? Ted Cruz? Nether one of those men strike me as especially tech savvy
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  7. Great. Now I have to explain death to my kid. I'm grateful that whoever was pushing for 'dead' to be included in this app was shutdown for whatever shit-eating insane picture of a rotting corpse they wanted to include
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  8. I'm going to skip right past how 'fight' is probably not a word I want to get into my kids head. Why am I now forced to explain the purpose of the military, the concept of war, or geopolitics to my 3-year old?
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  9. I...I don't even know if that's biblically accurate.
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    It's been well over a decade since Sunday school for me. Is that really a thing that people believe?(On another note: is it just me or did the artist intentionally make the angel look like Julia Stiles?)
  10. ("Well, yeah, unless that tramp's been having pre-marital sex," the programmer muttered under his breath)
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  11. The app designer is obviously a serial killer.
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  12. Shit on a shingle this is weird. Look how forlorn that guy looks.
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  13. It sure is. So glad my son learned that before he could read or write
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  14. Nothing wrong with old glory here. But for an age 3 vocabulary is it really a priority?
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  15. Whoever created this app is obsessed with military stuff, and thinks your kid should be too
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    "Look at that army of godless communists comin' fer yer guns! THANKS OBAMA!"
  16. "Why yes, those are granny panties on a clothesline. If you have a better idea to describe 'dry' to children, I'd like to hear it."
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  17. I'm convinced that the creators of this app cannot possibly exist. They are liberal caricatures of religious conservatives. Like Stephen Colbert. (The eagle is a dead giveaway.) I'm almost a little bit relieved to have figured this out.
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  18. Holy fucking shit I take it back. These people are all exactly like the serial killer from se7en.
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  19. Of course she's afraid. Did you see that fucking clown?
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