*NOTE: the opinions expressed in this list probably do not reflect reality. See @brook_ashley for dissenting opinion
  1. "You looked but didn't see."
    9d97f316 48e3 4408 9555 5600132a401b
    "Do they keep you up at night?" "Quid pro quo" My wife will not allow me to do this impression ever because it creeps her out. Which just reinforces my belief that I fucking nailed it.
  2. "Well hello beautiful!"
    391ee052 925e 4073 aadc eb35b8b5b1cb
    Also not allowed to do this.
  3. "That. Would be quite painful...For you."
    Ab90b4d5 1ac2 441b bd36 5b2b8ba5ae62
    Note that she is OK with this one, which makes me suspect that I'm not sufficiently invoking the 'Sean Connery trapped in a ventilation shaft' required to do the Bane voice.
  4. "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me."
    5441f679 dbb5 4e29 9d3d 5ce969b8db71
    "Put the fucking lotion in the basket!!!" Also verboten in my house. Also reinforces my confidence in my vocal abilities.
  5. "Thinkin' about the muscly-armed paperboy. Wishin' he'd come by and bring me some good news."
    04b5128f 1b8b 429d bb51 019c22e667cd
    Maybe I should start questioning why I'm only good at creepy voices?
  6. Agitated Mark Wahlberg
    3e3483da 6d89 4380 8c5c c8134cf2bb30
    This is purely by accident. Only comes out when I'm trying to calm a tantruming child. Lots of whiny up talking. I can never do it on purpose.