WHO WOULD BE YOUR MANTOURAGE (FAMOUS DUDES TO HANG WITH)

  1. Idris Elba
    OK. Off to a very attractive start. This mantourage is going to turn heads.
  2. John Hamm
    Can't go wrong there. Keeping the theme of attractive guys going strong.
  3. Anderson Cooper
    'Coop.' 'The Coops.' 'Silver Fox.' We prank text Kathy Griffin from Elba's phone when he's not around. Hilarity ensues.
  4. Karl Urban
    We would call him 'Bones.' He would secretly hate it. Until he finally confronts the group with a drunken yet heartfelt confession. We would bring it in for a group hug and then all agree to call him 'Boner' instead.
  5. Terry Crews
    That's right, President Camacho himself. He's the enforcer, natch. Also the funny guy. His favorite prank is a take on the Milgram Experiment where Boner and Hamm 'Borat' unsuspecting white dudes into saying something unspeakably racist, then they disappear just as Crews walks in. This results in existential terror-urination every time. FUN FACT: that drunken douchebag Tucker Max fell for this like 7 times. So he's either extremely stupid or extremely racist.
  6. OK, now we need someone to fill the role of the ugly dude so all of us look better by comparison...
  7. Shit.
  8. I *am* the ugly one.
  9. ☹️
  10. DAMNIT COOPS! You tricked me into being the token uggo. FUCK YOU GUYS.
    I wonder if Buscemi is busy.