GREAT TRAGEDIES OF MY TINY, TINY LITTLE WORLD

  1. Favorite coffee shop closes at 8 PM
  2. Slow season at work so I'm making close to no money
  3. I have size 12 feet so buying shoes is the worst
  4. Also I'm always tripping on myself
  5. I'm only 5'7" why God why
  6. The first thing people do when I tell them that is lean over to see my feet and say "they don't look that big"
  7. I mean they're really not! Comparatively the increment between shoe sizes isn't huge. It's just super uncomfortable because of how sensitive feet are
  8. But alas, I have Yeti feet
  9. And poorly fitting shoes because I try to wear shoes that are sold in the mass market
  10. And apparently my size is invalid to the fashion industry.
  11. Like, okay, I can start to understand why "plus size" or whatever is a thing. Like, 00-30 or whatever the accepted range is, like, that's a lot of sizes. I don't know, as someone who works in apparel, how in the world we could keep that kind of inventory under control in a retail environment.
  12. It still sucks a lot and is massively unfair, as someone who often has to size up into that range
  13. But feet. Stupid strong little bones that keep me planted to this earth.
  14. I have NO control over my foot size. Unless I started to engage in foot binding (I essentially do every day a little bit), this is what they're gonna be for the rest of my life.
  15. I was a size 9 by the time I was in third grade. I shared shoes with my mom.
  16. My doctor thought I would grow to be 5'10"!
  17. I hated shopping for shoes even then, though. My mom would take me to Payless and I'd be stuck facing stilettos and pumps as a nine-year-old.
  18. This is a niche market that has been tapped into.
  19. There are like two sites that offer a range of shoes in larger sizes, kind of a scaled apparel industry in a way.
  20. But they are ugly. So, so ugly.
  21. Like, yeah, thanks but no thanks for those cheetah print Jeffrey Campbells.
  22. I just want some cute daily boots! And maybe rain boots that aren't unisex! Is that too much to ask?
  23. I can't wear men's shoes because while my foot is big, it's still femininely shaped.
  24. Then that brings into question shoes like Birkenstocks, which give people penguin feet. I can't participate in that.
  25. Converse, even, after a size 10, add another lace hole.
  26. You're used to seeing this on men, but it looks sort of clown-ish on women.
  27. So I guess I just have to embrace what's different about me.
  28. Even if that thing is deemed invalid.
  29. (I actually lost feeling in my feet while writing this because they're just a little swollen and I tried cramming them into cuter shoes for the night time)
  30. Anyway. That's me.
  31. Also I hate that my medicine cabinet shelf is shallower than a tube of toothpaste