THINGS I DID YESTERDAY

Or: HOW ONE COLLEGE DROPOUT ATTEMPTED TO ASSIMILATE WITH PEOPLE OF HER OWN AGE
  1. Woke up in Rochester, NY.
    This should've been a surefire sign things were gonna get weird.
  2. Ate a breakfast sandwich with French toast as bread.
    Stay with me here
  3. Ran a bingo game at an assisted living home.
    Had HELLA hecklers like DAMN old folks can BURN (also this was part of philanthropy for a friend's sorority which made it all the more hilarious)
  4. Ate Panda Express.
    Which is great because there isn't one where I live
  5. Saw a very visually striking play my friend was in.
    It was swag af
  6. Went to a frat party.
    Yes. I am an adult human who went to a frat party. Said friend is "sweetheart" of this frat so we got special treatment but I still felt bad benefitting from such an archaic practice
  7. Proceeded to be in a frat house for four hours.
    FOUR HOURS
  8. FOUR HOURS
    Taking this whole next week to emotionally recover