Changing my forwarding address to the Apple Store c/o Genius Bar
  1. Don't get things fixed outside of Apple. I don't care how cheap it is; you might have a secretly robust Apple Care plan you're invalidating.
    Steve Jobs is cackling at me from the grave
  2. A few apps are so important to me that I've put them on every device I've had through this whole ordeal.
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    Here they are
  3. Apple has 24/7 live chat!
    Sometimes you finally get into the Genius Bar only to get a burnt-out genius at the end of their shift. If they couldn't immediately figure it out, I highly recommend their live chat. It's another authoritative voice you can leverage to get what you want if you end up back in the store (highly likely).
  4. If you do get a third-party repair, do not do any software updates afterwards.
    Apparently this is a thing. Even if it isn't, they'll insist it is. Just don't.
  5. Walk in frazzled, leave satisfied.
    I LOVE befriending the Apple Store folk. We always get along, even if they're not helpful. However, as a customer-centric brand, they just want to make you happy (same thing goes for the retail brand where I work). If you walk into the store, generally exasperated with your experience with them, they'll go the distance to make you happy (waive fees, policy exceptions, etc). Worth it to put up the charade.
  6. If you do a phone swap covered by Apple Care, they have to hang onto your old phone.
  7. You can totally buy and use an iPhone then return it, as long as it's within two weeks.
    Useful if you want to attempt data recovery in the situation above. Apparently people do this a lot (just know they can't run direct exchanges if there's something wrong with the device you bought, essentially putting over $1000 on hold on your credit card. This happened to me too 🙃)
  8. Genius Bar is largely not responsible for any damage or loss incurred when you're with them.
    Especially if it's done to a third party part (aka cracked screen) (yes a genius cracked my screen it sucked)
  9. If your issue involves slowness (aka slow-running device), no one is going to want to spend time on it.
    Attempt any backups or anything that requires patience before you get there because they're going to tell you it's not possible (even if it is). They're under a lot of pressure to get through a certain amount of appointments.
  10. Never ever ever ever get mad at an Apple Store employee.
    They have to balance technical knowledge with industry-leading customer service. That is so exhausting! Befriend them, take their guard down, and you'll get what you want. Let them know it's ok if things aren't going perfectly smoothly. They might have to pass you on to someone else or take another appointment while you're there—go with the flow.
  11. Stand your ground!
    On the other side of that same token, you need to know what is wrong and what you'd like to see happen (🔑 to getting good customer service anywhere, really). I know so many people who leave the Apple Store/Genius Bar unsatisfied when I know from experience there's more they could've done. Have an image of happy you leaving the store, share that with the rep you're working with, and they'll do everything in their power to make that happen. Sounds weird, but it works!