GOOD MORNING, WORLD
Steps to have a satisfying and productive day
- •Wake upCongrats! The hardest part is over
- •Check your phone and find a text from your bank that says your account is over drawn by 2938475 dollarsIt's cool cause you got credit at the deli for at least one pack of cigarettes from that time you caught some drunk guy from the bar stealing a banana. You're basically re-inventing neighborhood watch.
- •Get out of bed, fall down immediatelyYay you made it to the floor!
- •Make the executive decision to go to work anywayJust wear all white and you will look super tan and healthy and no one will know that your insides feel like the Crypt Keeper's
- •If you ride your bike to work, find out where it isAfter a couple of incoherent text exchanges with friends who have no idea where you left your shit and/or haven't seen you in weeks, realize that you parked it in front of the bar across the street three days ago.
- •Smoke another cigaretteBecause that was an ordeal
- •Ride your bike to work, it's a beautiful day!Or ride two blocks away from your house before turning around and going back home
- •Take a power napSome people call this 'going back to bed' but if you've already left your house once then it doesn't count
- •Eat somethingIf not, there is that beer in the fridge that you stole from the party last night
- •Text a friend from out of town all day, constitute this as 'catching up'It's like passing notes and very cute. Speaking is overrated
- •Draw pictures of grave yards
- •Give yourself a tattooIt's for your portfolio. Your furthering your professionalism.