IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO DISCUSS A FUTURE VACATION IN HAWAII WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE AN ASSHOLE

I think about my honeymoon too much
  1. "Please, if we could afford a beachside villa, we'd be honeymooning in the Maldives."
  2. "It's great to be on Waikiki Beach, but the pools are tiny. It's like being on a cruise."
  3. "I always imagined myself at a place with an infinity pool."
  4. "I know Maui is supposed to be beautiful, but what would we DO there?"
  5. "I love Waikiki, but it's so crowded and there are so many homeless people."
  6. "Ocean view, obviously."
  7. "But does the Royal Hawaiian have Japanese toilets?"
  8. "I want to start my days with an açai smoothie from the Moana Surfrider."
  9. "Hotel rooms always look so depressing online..."
  10. "No, Obama rents a house when he goes to Oahu."