Reasons and Consequences Ive Had for Throwing the First Punch

  1. Reason- a man said "what's a nice lady like you doing with a piece of poor white trash like that?"
    Consequence- lifetime ban from the Crystal Bar in Bozeman, Montana. Full disclosure- I spit first, then swung.
  2. Reason- I did not have money to bail out then-boyfriend from jail and thus, in an act of financial planning, attempted to stop him from going to jail (he was about to kick someone's ass) by punching him in the face.
    Consequence- broke then-boyfriend's nose but saved $400.
  3. Reason- did not get the apology I demanded from a fisherman who almost ran over my dog with his truck.
    Consequence- swollen hand for my first real date with my husband, which I attempted to numb with tequila, which led to my doing an impression of a local realtor eating a ham sandwich while getting double teamed. In other words, consequence- failed to put my best foot forward. @john was there. He can vouch for impression, et al.
  4. Reason- a man at a local party suggested my friends and I were "too good for things like this" and added that he thought I "lived in the city now."
    Consequence- I ruined the party for everyone (the cops showed up), which might be even worse than being a "city person"