MY EMPLOYABLE QUALITIES

On the job hunt... Please hire me!
  1. I'm always willing to bring you a coffee.
  2. I smile lots.
  3. I'm super friendly to people even if they're mean to me.
  4. I never sleep.
  5. I have scrubbed the bathroom floor of a suburban Dairy Queen with a toothbrush, so any job you offer me will be better than that.
  6. I always have lipstick in my purse you can borrow.