A TOAST TO THE TOAST

The-toast.net closes today. I am filled with despair and also an extra 90-110 minutes of my weekday mornings.
  1. To the Art history posts
  2. To all of the times Mallory Ortberg just understood me
    This is just the first one I found BUT OH GOOD GOD ARE THERE MORE: http://the-toast.net/2016/03/02/why-are-you-lonely-a-text-game/
  3. To IF X WERE YOUR Y
    For giving me feelings about people that I never expected to have http://the-toast.net/2015/02/09/stanley-tucci-boyfriend/ (this is the life I aspire to have)
  4. To the link roundups
    For taking away a solid 40 minutes every morning, for introducing to me hot mess gems like ask a manager, the well curated (read: did not require me to find it) Reddit relationship posts, and the occasional piece about the Romanov's in the Guardian, and for beginning each post with a photo of a dog. http://the-toast.net/series/the-jam/
  5. To the Friday Bargain bin
    For allowing me to fully lean in to my mantra "only buy it when it's on sale" http://the-toast.net/series/bargain-bin/
  6. To the "How to Tell if You're in a Novel" series
    This is a TAME ONE. WHERE THE FUCK ELSE ON THE INTERNET WILL THINGS LIKE THIS BE POSTED????http://the-toast.net/2016/02/25/how-to-tell-if-youre-in-a-flannery-oconnor-story/
  7. To the bits of fanfiction they allowed us all to delight in
    Picture from a side conversation I had about this piece http://the-toast.net/2014/10/27/gilmore-girls-chris-dies/
  8. To the most beautiful comments section on the Internet
    They went out of their way to moderate and it was BEAUTIFUL
  9. TO THE FACT THAT HILLARY FUCKING CLINTON LOVES THE TOAST AND JUST POSTED ON IT WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK
  10. For everything I forgot to mention ...
    I'm emotional, give me a break
  11. And most importantly
  12. For giving me HEY LADIES
  13. Which filled me with despair for the human race, an inflation of my own ego, and a shared kinship of the horrors and joys of chain emails/texts/etc
    Reading hey ladies in order is SO IMPORTANT. It's, unfortunately, hard to do that on the toast, but this site lists them in order up until 2014, and then it's easy to find them on the toast tag. http://www.metafilter.com/141938/Hey-Ladies-and-the-Shudder-of-Recognition http://the-toast.net/series/hey-ladies/
  14. So thank you, The Toast, and I don't know what I'll do without you